Paul wondered if this was a trap, the kind that killed Jim. He was smart and generally stayed out of trouble. He ate sensibly – only fresh scraps. He once ate some delicious green pellets off a plastic tray that made him so sick he thought he’d die and almost wanted to. He surely would have except he came upon the tray after eating a hard chunk of Colby Jack. (Who throws cheese away??) So he was already full when he came upon the green stuff and only had a taste. Somehow he knew it was the pellets that made him sick. They were good but there was a funny taste to them. From then on, he only ate food that the big ones ate. …
nihilism
Once I dreamt I was taking photographs of a guy playing guitar. It felt like they were coming out great. I was using an old camera and looking forward to seeing the pictures when they developed. I thought maybe one will be the cover of his next album. Then I woke up. I don’t know who he was supposed to be, but that musician is never going to have an album. He was a figment of my imagination. Same goes for the camera and the film. And those pictures. They’ll never be developed. As I woke up and realized this, I felt a sense of loss. I had been looking forward to something that I’ll never get to see. But then I thought, really, in the …
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